such is life :(

depressing news..and i couldn’t share it to someone i consider the closest person in my life. no sense in saying something when you know this person couldn’t help. i’m all alone with this one and i curse myself for being unable to do anything. the only thing that consoles me–and to me this is undoubtedly the most important–is that it’s not health-related. so i guess i should be thankful for that. what depresses me is that even if circumstances are beyond my control, ultimately, i only have myself to blame. and what is worst is that i may be, albeit inadvertently, be the one to blame for a loved one’s future to change direction. my inability to give of what is asked of me may be the reason for a loved one’s future to shine a little less brighter.

 

Grieving For A Beloved

Days fill the mind with many preoccupations but the nights leave the mind free to think… and it is when sadness comes to consume your being.  Yes, there are moments during the day that grief threatens to come to the fore but slips away as worries of the day tend to divert the mind back to the here and now.  It is during the night as the body prepares to rest that the heart makes known the presence of pain and sadness.  Then the tears come.  I grieve for my father and I know I will grieve him until the day I die. I’m missing him everyday.

Let me share with you a quote from Edna St. Vincent Millay that I especially like.

“Where you used to be, there is a whole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around, in the daytime, and falling in at night.  I miss you like hell.”