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Category Archives: family

Vaginoplasty and labiaplasty: from someone who’d actually done it

I confess I did it. And I did it for what others may perceive to be shallow reasons. It proved to be the best decision I made last year and never regretted it for a minute.

Folks, I got five kids. Yes, FIVE! That’s how many they are. The last one was born through Caesarean Section. It wasn’t for lack of trying to push my baby out, though. My one and the only boy got his umbilical cord around his foot and leg and he was curled the wrong way; and so every time I tried to push him out, he went back in. And I was getting older at 36 and didn’t have it in me to push some more. I guess my age just got me on this one hence the CS. The point is that although I may have four (still quite a lot) vaginal births, I had also strained my muscle walls from attempting a vaginal birth of my son. And I must admit that aging, multiple vaginal births(no matter that your OB patched you up real good after) and lots of sex throughout your married life ultimately affect and weaken and changed my vagina appearance. Yeah, I know about Kegel exercises, I’ve been doing the exercises since in my twenties until today. Well, it does help tighten those love muscles up but it doesn’t help much with the appearance, does it?

So on February of 2014, I had a laser vaginoplasty. The first time I had sex after the prescribed weeks of no sexual contact was more painful than enjoyable. And there were particular sex positions that were really impossible to do because it hurt like hell. It was like that for a couple of months more. But eventually, man oh man, was the sex getting good. I know, even if my husband didn’t admit wanting me to undergo that surgery, he was and is, enjoying our sex way more than he did prior.

 

 

 

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photo credit to the owner

 

Yes, the procedure is quite pricey, but if you really want something, you’ll find a way to get it done.  I was lucky that I availed of some sort of promo discount of a certain cosmetic surgeon in my country. And I really set aside some money for it too.

I may not have a beautiful body and youth on my side anymore, but the confident sexuality that the vaginoplasty has given me, and years of experience is incomparable. I am way more confident in my femininity and my sexuality now at forty with five children than I ever was before in my early twenties. And you can bet your ass, my husband is reaping and enjoying the fruits of that confidence more so now than he had before.

FITRUM REVIEW

 

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Fitrum Capsules

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The holidays had come and gone, I am now back again to this endless search for an effective weight control management to complement my on and off diet and exercise. I have tried dieting and exercise but this stubborn metabolism of mine seems to need a little more push. I had been sweating my ass off the first three-quarters of last year with me jogging every other day and watching my calorie intake and did I lose weight? Of coursecI did! I lost just over 2 kgs. for my nine months of sweat and depriving myself of carbs.

So now after many months of trying weight management aids that failed, I am going to to try yet another one. I just took my first Fitrum capsules little over thirty minutes ago and will be taking my breakfast now. I just bought a 30-capsule box and I’m supposed to take 3 capsules a day 30 minutes before meal and to preferably take them before 4PM (for optimal effectiveness, I think).

I’ll be updating my blog all throughout the course of my taking the Fitrum capsules.

Update:

No visible changes whatsoever.

 

 

Nu Skin/Pharmanex Lifepak’s Review

When I went home to Cebu City last week, my closest first cousin and I had dinner and coffee together and were catching up on news about our lives since we last saw each other. Anyways, during our coffee she told me about this new supplement she is taking. She spoke very highly of this product–Nu Skin/Pharmanex Lifepak and told me that our mutual friends who are also taking this supplement all look and feel great. And my cousin did really looked great.  So naturally, my interest was peaked. I want to try the product so I decided to google the product reviews especially that this particular product costs P3300(Philippine peso)  or roughly around $77 (US dollars) for a 30 day worth of food supplements.  To my dismay,  i didn’t find any review for this particular product. But despite of that, I went ahead and bought this food supplement anyway.  I mean, my cousin looked great and she swore of the product’s efficacy. She is a good enough review of the product for me anyway.

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Pharmanex Lifepak Food Supplement

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You're to take this 4 caps at the same time

The lack of review of this product made me decide to make a review myself. This is my 3rd day of taking the product and I can’t see or feel any changes in my state of wellbeing. I will be updating this blog after four days since I’ll be making an update every week for a month.

On my 5th day of taking Pharmanex Lifepak I had a severe allergic rhinitis. I’m not saying my taking these vits triggered the allergies I’m just noting that my taking the vitamins didn’t in any way lessen the effects of my allergic rhinitis.

 

Oct. 2 – Week 1

Today is my 9th day of taking the vitamins and I noticed that ever since I started taking them, I have regular bowel movement and I don’t feel as tired and sleepy as I did before taking the food supplements.

 

October 10 – Week 2

I don’t really have anything to tell. I can’t see any changes at all. I still look the same. My skin didn’t get any clearer and my appetite is still the same. I must say that I survived a whole week without taking puffs on my seretide inhaler without a severe asthma attack, just some minor ones like feeling slight congestion on my chest. (I was supposed to take seretide puffs 2x in the morning and 2x on the evenings everyday.)

More update next week 🙂

I finished my 1 pack of Lifepak supplements. Although I don’t feel and see any different at all, I must say that I didn’t suffer asthma attacks or some difficulty of breathing while taking this supplements. Considering that I’m not religious with my getting puffs on my maintenance of seretide everyday, I think that is some sort of achievement, and I’m giving credit to Lifepak’s food supplements. Other than my regular bowel movement and lessening of frequency with my recurrent yet sporadic asthma attacks, I can’t see or feel any major difference in my wellbeing and appearance. I mean for the money that I paid for it, I kind of expected more from the product. Like, I don’t know– a miracle, perhaps? Hehe It’s just that a regular, middle income person like me do not shell out this amount of money for just a “regular” food supplement. I had expected something more. My skin didn’t get any clearer and I didn’t look younger than I had hoped I would. This product is good–no doubt about it. But the question is, would I use it regularly? Yes, if I have the money to “maintain” a food supplement as costly as this one. All I’m saying is that this product is exactly what it is–a food supplement. But, there are many food supplements that are as effective but a lot less costlier than Lifepak’s. I am beginning to think that whilst it’s probably true my cousin is taking this food supplement, she is also taking something else that made her look great– a beauty secret that she didn’t share with me.

Optrimax Plum Delite Review

 

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So I had just eaten my first pruned plum tonight. I drank two glasses of water after because they said that’s what I’m supposed to do. It may not be on the written instruction of the package but my dealer advised me and it’s also mentioned on their website and other online blog reviews.  I will be doing a review on this 10-day pack which claims to be a very helpful aid in losing weight. They are marketing this product for colon cleansing, and of course, the magnet that made this so appealing to me–weight loss.

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Update:
I had originally planned on updating this review every two days whileI was taking it, but since I had nothing to report I just didn’t bother. I don’t know why my experience was so totally unlike other blog reviews. Maybe it’s partly because most of the bloggers who reviewed this product are also sellers. I don’t think my colon was cleansed since I didn’t experience anything extraordinary with my bowel movement. If anything, I noticed I had even lesser “output” (for lack of a better word) while I was taking it. I just didn’t lose any weight. I weighed absolutely the same after the 10-day intake of plum as I did before I started.  My eating habits didn’t change before and during those ten days too. The only upside I can say about the product is that I kind of liked the taste of the dried prune.

It was just a waste of money for me. My  php1,200.00 down the drain with nothing to show for it. Perhaps it’s just me and my stubborn metabolism. Perhaps I should have continued this Plum Delite regimen for a month then I could have lost some weight. But then again, perhaps it would have been more of my money wasted.

When my immigrant mom said, “Johnny Depp who?”

First off, let me tell you that my mom is a US immigrant and has just been to the US of A since last November only. She just turned 66 last March 13 which was also the day she met Johnny Depp. In person. I’ll be telling the story as she told me.

My mom, Aunt Joy (mom’s sister) and Uncle Clemie (mom and aunt Joy’s cousin) had dinner in a restaurant in West Hollywood to celebrate mom’s birthday. On their way out, my mom almost collided into someone who was wearing a hat and walking with his head down. When he looked up, my mom didn’t recognize him but my aunt and uncle did. They were all agog.  So my mom asked them who he was. “That’s Johnny Depp!”, my aunt and uncle answered in unison.  She asked again. “Johnny who?” My aunt then distractedly elaborated that Johnny Depp was an actor, all the while looking at Johnny Depp.

With typical mom’s impulsivity, she marched straight to Johnny Depp and asked if she can have a picture taken with him.  Mr. Depp was ever so graceful and said yes. My mom was impressed.  She said Johnny Depp was so nice. Just when he started to walk away after their picture was taken.  My mom grabbed him and asked again to have his picture taken with her sister (my aunt). My mom didn’t even notice that the three bodyguards who came closer to her the moment she grabbed Johnny Depp.  According to my mom, she noticed three men who stood close to her and she just thought that they were fans of his too who also wanted to have pictures taken with the actor.

People who were nearby started noticing Johnny Depp’s presence and “oh my God that’s Johnny Depp!” can be heard as people in the area began to recognize him. Well, it was probably thanks to my mom that Johnny Depp made a quick escape soon after.

My mom asked my aunt again who Johnny Depp was and if he was popular.  My aunt and uncle laughed and told her that Johnny Depp–the man they had their picture taken with–was a Hollywood superstar and those men with him were his bodyguards.  You know what my mom said? She said that if she’d known Johnny Depp was really famous, she wouldn’t have the guts to ask for his picture. She just thought that Mr. Depp was a struggling actor on a soap opera.

At least now she knows and she is starstruck.  She sent texts to her friends and relatives that she met Johnny Depp. She even made their picture her facebook cover photo.

Of Friends and the Games They Played

The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies. It comes from friends and loved ones.

Ever had a friend who made you a scapegoat to their own follies?  I know I shouldn’t be calling them friends since being made a scapegoat isn’t a trait of a real friend, but you know what I mean.   I was a victim of this so-called friend of mine.Image

I went back to college a few years back as a mature student and it was there that I met Rebecca(not her true name). She was a classmate of mine.  Like me, she was also a mature student, married and with kids. And she and I are the same age. Plus we also live in the same district.  So we hit it right off (or so I thought). We also have the same circle of friends. Although I look way younger and prettier (and I’m saying that without vanity), her glib of tongue and confidence more than made up for her shortcomings.  Don’t get me wrong. She isn’t ugly but she isn’t pretty either. Oh, and she is married into some money. Anyway, when we were in our 3rd year, our mutual friends and I noticed that her absences were becoming frequent and that when she came to class, she was constantly talking on her mobile phone.  Then she shared with us that she had a male phone pal and that they already met in person. We didn’t know the extent of Rebecca and her phone pal’s friendship since we seldom saw her in class anymore. One time she invited us for dinner and a night out at our local go-to nightlife destination.  We went to a dance club after dinner where she promptly left us and had us wait for her until 4 am. She texted us to wait for her and that she’ll be back very soon. Very soon turned to hours of waiting.  She left us at the club before midnight and came back at 4 am. We asked her where she’d been but she just shrugged and gave us a very vague answer.

This continued until one day, Rebecca came to class with swollen eyes. She told us that she was quitting school and that she and her husband were splitting up. We didn’t ask why and we didn’t want to pry. In our minds, we knew this was something to do with her “friendship” with another man.  And she really did quit in the middle of the semester.  We didn’t see her for some time but had some contact with her through text. During one of her texts, we learned that she and her husband reconciled. Good news.  We were happy for her.

The next time we saw her, she was at school to enroll again. And she was like five months on the way. Almost exactly a year she quit going to class. I was on my last term in school and graduating in about a month and a half’s time, doing my internship and was also three months pregnant with my youngest child. I was pleased to see her again.

One time we went to visit Rebecca at her house.  Her husband was there. And he was drunk.  So we didn’t get inside their house and just talked on their patio.  When her husband saw me, he walked toward me in a confrontational manner but Rebecca blocked his path and pulled him inside their house.  We could hear them talking loudly but we couldn’t hear the words they were saying. Until I heard her husband mention my name.  My friends and I looked at each other but shrugged that off.  Her husband was drunk and drunk people sometimes say and do foolish things.

Oh did I mention that Rebecca and I lived in the same district? Oh yeah, I did. Her niece was a schoolmate of my two daughters too until last year.  Anyway, a parent from my two daughters school who I had a hi-hello acquaintanceship came to sit by me one time when I visited my daughters’ school.  She asked me if I was still studying at this university.  I wasn’t surprised she knew where I studied since parents like her who doesn’t have anything to do but wait on their children at school tend to gossip about people especially other parents. After a while and after making some small talk, she leaned over to me with a conspiratorial air and said that there is something I should know.  She then proceeded to tell me that “someone” in school (my daughters’ school)  who knows a  “friend of mine” from my university had told her that I had an “affair”.  She said she decided to tell me because she didn’t think it was true and that I should know what is being said behind my back.  I was STUNNED. I was HORRIFIED. WHAT. THE. HELL. I didn’t even remember what I said to her after what she told me. I didn’t even remember uttering a denial.  But I’m glad she told me.  Whatever her reasons were I was glad she did.

After I got over the shock, realizations did set in. And all the things clicked into place.  I remembered that:

1. Rebecca’s husband seems to want to talk, nay–confront me on something when Rebecca blocked him and pulled him away.
2. I remembered why my then fifth-grade daughter told her closest classmate that she had a secret about me (that secret was about my pregnancy which she considered being wonderful news). Her classmate immediately said that he knew what my secret was and that my secret was that I had a lover. Suffice to say that there was a fight after that. When my daughter went home that day, she told me about it and I remembered telling her to ignore her classmate and that what he said was the result of unmonitored and too much exposure of soap operas at home instead of studying.
3. I remembered that Rebecca’s niece was a schoolmate of my daughters and that Rebecca’s cousin-in-law was one of the parents I just mentioned–parents with having nothing to do but wait on their children at school.
4. That as far as I can remember, the only “friend” of mine at the university who lived in the same part of town is the same person who our classmates, common friends and even teachers knew to have had a “friendship” with another man and that “friendship”  may have been the reason she and her husband separated for a while and why she quit school in the middle of a semester.
5. That I am most likely been made a scapegoat of someone I considered a friend.
6. That the parents on the PTA of my daughters’ school think that I did all that. And that probably account to their fake smiles when I attend meetings.  I thought their fake smiles were because of envy since my daughters are consistent honor students and that my sixth grader just happens to hold the academic number 1 spot since 4th grade and now the valedictorian of her class on her graduation a few days from now.
7. And that it explained Rebecca’s cousin-in-law snubbing me during a chance encounter at a mall when she used to smile and nod at me every time we meet.

I wonder what tales Rebecca spun about me. I wonder what role was I supposed to have been playing in her diabolical scheme of her then marital woes. I really thought she was a friend. Why me? What did I ever do to her?

And since I can’t wheedle the name of the weasel who spread this malicious what consoles me is that my husband and kids know me and know the truth. 

Tinnitus is Thy Name..

It’s been months since my last post.  Lots of things had happened to my life and the lives of people around me. Less than a month ago, my husband was hospitalized because he suffered a severe vertigo episode that lasted for almost a day. He had suffered vertigo episodes before but not as severe as what he experienced last January 25. He had an MRI (which cost quite a lot), two ct scans, some lab works which include checking his thyroids, VNG testing or Videonystamography (for further info on VNG, click on this link: http://www.nationaldizzyandbalancecenter.com/services/balance-lab-testing/videonystagmography/) and PTabs. Anyway, after all the tests had been done to rule out cancer (which was quite a real possibility during his hospitalization phase hence the two ct scans and an MRI), my husband’s ENT specialist–who was reputed to be the best here in Iloilo by the way–told him that his vertigo problem really stemmed from his tinnitus or the constant ringing of both his ears.. To cut this lengthy story short, tinnitus is a condition wherein most causes are unknown and cannot be cured.  According to hubby’s ENT again, he had to learn to live with the condition the rest of his life.  Well, he didn’t exactly say it in that way but that was what I gathered between his assurances of longevity in life and management of tinnitus when he talked to my husband and me about this.  But he also said that during his entire career and service as a doctor (and he has a pretty extensive experience since he is oldish already and with patient lists of probably half of the population in Iloilo who have had ENT problems), my husband is only the 2nd patient whom he had attended, to have a tinnitus with a very high frequency of ringing in the ears).

Tinnitus may not be a severe condition but it is life-changing.  Management of this kind of condition is terribly hard for the person. And in my husband’s case, it is also hard for the family–more so for a family as young as ours are.  Why?  Where my hubby used to play with the kids, now gets angry when they get noisy.  He’s irritable and unhappy. And although the kids understand, they miss their dad from before.  They are more subdued and cautious when their dad is around. And when my husband and kids are unhappy, I am unhappy–and stressed.  I get stressed feeling helpless and unable to do anything to relieve his situation.  I get stressed every time I hear him walk about the house in the wee hours of the morning because he can’t sleep.  I get stressed looking at him and see the effects of what he is going through.  No wonder, tinnitus sufferers also suffer depressions and have high suicide rates. And I get stressed and worried about that fact too.

He described his tinnitus to me  as hearing  a rat repeller app with very high frequency and high volume inside his ears non-stop and without reprieve. Poor man.   And to top it off, this tinnitus is the cause of his sudden onset of severe vertigos for like an average of 2- 4 times a week.

Tinnitus is thy name of one of the silent mostly incurable condition that is slowly wreaking havoc in my once happy healthy family life.

Note:  Link page from nationaldizzycenter.com

 

 

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VNG testing photo of my husband, Carlo