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Monthly Archives: October 2013

Fool me once, s…

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Last night, my hubby of twelve years went into a girlie bar and reeked with sanitizer when he came home.  He said he was just out entertaining out of town Insurance Commission guests and was just in a local pub having drinks.  I tried calling him like three times because I wanted him to buy me something  on his way home.  He didn’t answer.  But after a few minutes, he called me back.  And strangely, their was no loud background music in the “pub.” And I told him that.   He just said that he’s inside the rest room, that’s why. But I let that pass and ended the call.  I have been to enough pubs around town to know that loud music can be heard on rest rooms and parking lots.  My stupid husband even text me after not to worry because he’s not doing anything wrong.  Well, if he’s not doing anything wrong, why lie about it? Maybe my sense of wrongness and his differ.  Going to places like that isn’t a big deal to him since it’s being practiced in their world of “work”. No wonder that there are lots of infidelity issues going around in their company.  It’s ironic too, that a company who has a poem entitled “Our Soul” encased in a ginormous glass frame stuck on their office wall talking about integrity and sense of rightness condone and even pay for such kind of entertainment. Where’s their “soul” in that kind of practice?   Well, whatever. My stupid husband is still gonna pay big time.

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such is life :(

depressing news..and i couldn’t share it to someone i consider the closest person in my life. no sense in saying something when you know this person couldn’t help. i’m all alone with this one and i curse myself for being unable to do anything. the only thing that consoles me–and to me this is undoubtedly the most important–is that it’s not health-related. so i guess i should be thankful for that. what depresses me is that even if circumstances are beyond my control, ultimately, i only have myself to blame. and what is worst is that i may be, albeit inadvertently, be the one to blame for a loved one’s future to change direction. my inability to give of what is asked of me may be the reason for a loved one’s future to shine a little less brighter.

 

“A mother-in-law dies only when another devil is needed in hell. – Francis Rabelais

It’s unfortunate that my husband’s mother took a dislike on me since the day she learned I existed. Since love begets love, it goes without saying that dislike begets dislike too.  It was unfortunate that I was being reviled through text even if I had nothing to do with their situation and I got to read them first before my husband had the chance to delete them. so I fought back with guns blazing

Many years had passed since then. People change, and I know I did.  I’m no longer the hate-filled woman I used to be. I’m no longer bitter as I once were.  I’ve grown. My world is wider now and I see things differently and tolerantly than before. Indeed, wisdom does come with maturity.

 People sometimes blame another for the shortcomings of a loved one. It is, after all, way too easy to hate someone you already disliked than lose faith of someone you love. But all that is water under the bridge already.Now I understand. I accept. And I finally don’t mind anymore.

Porma Over Substance

Porma over substance.  I’ve recently encountered this phrase over and over on the reviewers I studied for a Teacher’s Board Exam.  Chimes45 of yahoo answers explained it best — “It usually means that the content or subject doesn’t matter as much as the appearance or the structure of something. In other words, it doesn’t have to make sense as long as it’s visually appealing.”

Porma over substance.  Recently, my kids’ school has made such a big deal over beauty pageant/search  were kids from pre-elementary and elementary were made to parade in thick makeup, hair extensions, false eyelashes, spent so much money and made so much fuss over such shallow pursuits instead of giving their time and focus on improving competent learning with meaningful activities.

I don’t think that search/pageant is an intellectual or even a meaningful activity for kids ages 4 to 13.  For how will it teach the little ones?  That thick makeup, expensive change of clothes and swaying hips will give them confidence? Shouldn’t we be teaching our kids to be confident just the way they are and to be themselves? Wouldn’t thick makeups, hair extensions and false eyelashes be teaching them the opposite? If they want to teach kids confidence in themselves, they can achieve all that in some other way.

I have nothing against beauty pageants. I love pageants.  All I’m saying is that pageants aren’t  effective and suitable platforms to mold children as young as pre-elementary and elementary into smart and confident individuals.

Sadly, my kid was one of the contestants on that said pageant. When I consented to let my daughter join the pageant, I thought it was just an ordinary and simple search/pageant, very much like the simple and unimportant academic events of their school.  But I learned soon enough that they are making a big production out of of the pageant.  I didn’t like the idea so I made my point.  I just regretted that my kid has to be the medium to which i can deliver my point.  Luckily my kid is too intelligent and aware of her worth that she wasn’t affected by the sidelong and yes, even pitying glances they gave her when she stood out like a sore thumb by taking the ramp in simple unassuming attires and makeup.  If I so wanted her to blend in, I would have given the other parents a run for their money.

Porma over substance.  It should have been the other way around. I am really disheartened with the school.  If truth be told, I am mulling on transferring my daughter to another school next school year where the school and I share the same important values in educating a child. I don’t want a school were stuffs like pageants are given higher importance and attention compared to their academic events.

Porma over substance.  I am truly, truly disheartened and disappointed. They should have focused more on how to put their school on the map by producing quality pupils. And how can they do that when they give more importance and spent more on things like pageants?

Porma over substance.  Others may not view it that way.  But that’s my two cents worth on the issue of pageants for gradeschoolers.